Earlier this week, if you had encountered me, you would have met a woman with downcast eyes, slumped shoulders and a smile that couldn’t quite make it to the surface. If you had bumped into me that day, you would not have recognized me. Usually my eyes happily meet each person I pass … there is always a smile just waiting to come out to brighten someone’s day. But that day, I couldn’t produce any of that. First impressions would have tagged me as unapproachable, maybe … sullen … irritated … disconnected … defiant.
On Mother’s Day 2015 I received some news that I desperately wanted to hear, and completely didn’t want to accept, at the same time. I found out that I am expecting our fifth baby. Let me explain my contradictory feelings … I love babies. I rarely pass by a baby that I don’t smile at the wonder of their sweetness and creation. I love to hold babies … to snuggle them and smell their “babyness”. I have been thoroughly excited each time that the test showed me a positive result. And have loved those baby moments that followed.